Observing the Illusion
In meditation we don’t try to control our thoughts, but rather we try to make space between thoughts.
Early morning I saw the full moon of Goddess Bhairavi. In Indian Tantric tradition Bhairavi is the essence of Mūlādhāra chakra, the energy center at the base of the spine. She is the currents felt rather than heard linked to the prenatal/natal status and very early childhood. Goddess Bhairavi, like Mūla, is the cave, recess and chamber of pure enjoyment. Enjoyment as a form of deep (non-dual) connection to all of life and the womb as mother and chaos, as beginning and end.
She is at the same time the root and the center. Her arrow penetrates the most rooted beliefs we have about ourselves. In modern science Bhairavi is the subcortex also called the reptilian complex, the least known part of the brain, where a dynamic energy keeps regenerating itself through memories, emotions and pleasure.
Bhairavi however is beyond mind, intellect and language. Her power is not animalistic, in a derogatory way, on the contrary she is pure bliss (ananda) and pure fear. Hers is an unaltered power. She is the force that creates and destroys as part of our innate instinct for regeneration. She is Eros and Thanatos.
Goddess Bhairavi calls us to go deeper and to disrupt the layers of conformity and fear, because she is the Goddess that knows the secret behind the verse: nartaka ātmā – the Self is the dancer.
She conceals to reveal.
Take a moment today to bring your awareness at the end of every thought, in that space that is hollow, dark, bottomless, where your deepest desires and fears manifest as pleasure or pain in the body. Stay in the parts where you feel contraction or have the most/least energy.
Explore whatever comes up in a non judgemental way and allow the sensations to arise in a spontaneous and chaotic way.
Hold her motherly energy at the base of the spine and follow it like you would do with a thread. See where it leads you. Beyond the thread is your Bhairavi, beyond fear and pleasure is your root.
